I'm not really sure what the purpose of this blog is yet. Maybe it doesn't matter what it's purpose or point is as long as it serves to quench a need I've been looking to service for a while now. I've been bursting out of my skin trying to communicate lately, writing essays, making comics, trying to make videos. All this stuff boiled down to needing a place to express myself in an honest format without trying to fill a mold of "blogger" or "comedian" or "journalist." 

About a year and a half ago I tried and failed valiantly to keep up with your basic run-of-the-mill cute and quirky fashion and craft blog. I saw other women I admired making things and sharing them and I thought I admired their creativity but mostly I think I craved to see myself as the kind of person who had their shit together. I really admire the idea of connecting with people worldwide through social media, I think the internet is great and I think I find out more about myself whenever I find another person who sees the world in a similar way that I do. But in the past few years I've been experiencing a kind of whiplash to this serine vsco-cam filtered life, where we see only the best of people and if we are bestowed the honor and trust to see the worst, the most we see is an eloquently written paragraph about the trials and tribulations of these perfect social media personas. I'm not proposing everyone start posting instagram shots of their period flow on their heaviest day but I think it's important for me, as a mentally ill female in her early 20s to look at humans on the internet and realize that this is just a fraction of a human. It's what these people put in the windowsill of their lives and allow you to walk by and glance in. 

This blog, in order to be successful to me, can't be like that. It's not gonna be a huge downer because nobody can deal with that, but it's not all sunshine and roses. I'm not all sunshine and roses. I'm just kind of trying to figure out my shit, and also write about it. Publicly. 

This might be about things I make, or things I wear, or the yoga I'm doing, or the spiritual stuff I'm studying, or about how I feel about junk in the world. Sometimes it will be sad, because a lot of the time I'm sad. But most of the time it will be about trying not to be sad, I think. And about the effort I'm making to not be sad. Maybe that's the most concise way to describe this blog:
A record of trying not to be sad. 

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